Crossing, 12th May 2017

We would like to report a successful crossing (west to east) on the 12th May by dirgers PTM, MAA and RWJW.
The three of us met at school and have been friends for 28 years. Recently, we have begun to test our friendship by completing long walking challenges together. The LWW seemed like another opportunity to spend a day interrogating one another on their careers, political views and personalities.
PTM – farmer, lefty, remoaner, charming MAA – accountant, middle,
remoaner , whinger RWJW – estate agent, far right, brexiter, confident
We decided to start at 6:30am<x-apple-data-detectors://1> at Sheep Wash as this was key to arriving at the Lion pub in time for lunch, remarkably however, and with MAA and RWJW having had only one hours Brexit argument, we arrived for elevenses. Black Sheeps gulped, sandwiches eaten and with spirits high, particularly in group ‘lightweight’PTM, we set off on the next leg.
Despite the Eastern area OS map of the North York Moors, (the only map we had) not covering the first couple of miles, we did find our way to the first of the bog sections. The lack of rain over the past month, an issue close to farmer PTM’s heart, had created a bouncy sponge like walking surface excellent for upping the walking pace. However, this was negated by the Black Sheep mini hangover (PTM) and fear of adder bites (RWJW & MAA). Having reached the Blue Man with the seemingly never ending Wheeldale Plantation on our left, sprits had dropped (see spirit chart). Continually marching through “Adder Country” with wettish feet and no sign of Fylingdales was taking its toll on the group dynamic. MAA had run out of water and, after sourcing some from a local resident told PTM (also low on water) that “You’re not having any of mine!”
Having regrouped and agreeing to share water we carried on, only for RWJW’s biggest fear to be realised. There really were adders in Adder Country and RWJW just narrowly avoided stepping on one. PTM, the Yorkshire Steve Irwin, soon calmed the jumping screaming RWJW and assured him the adders would soon be going to bed. As a result of this “near death experience”, RWJW was more than happy for PTM to resume his position as point man.
With Fylingdales now in full view and approaching quickly we were confident for the first time that we may actually complete the walk. Disappointingly, but as a result of our new found speed we crossed the railway line 10 minutes ahead of the steam train and missed the opportunity for a steamy selfie. PTM and RWJW could sense this irritated anorak and accountant MAA. He’d once gone for a job at Transport for London because he “loved trains”, sadly for MAA he failed the interview.
By now the strongest group member, PTM,was consistently ten meters ahead of rest of the chasing pack. Although, he had to take some stick from the rest of dirgers, they knew deep down, without his pace setting, the groups MPH reduced rapidly. In order to improve spirits, PTM put his iPod on loudspeaker and we were soon dancing and marching along to classic hits from ABBA<x-apple-data-detectors://2>, Tina Turner<x-apple-data-detectors://3> and Steps.

As Fylingdales became a dot on the horizon us, the phone mast above Ravenscar became our next target. Swelled with enthusiasm and with YMCA blaring out across the Moors, we missed the official end point of the LWW and instead piled into a field of sheep. As the flock approached, RWJW made a bee line for the safety of farmer PTM leaving lone wolf MAA to fend off one particularly inquisitive ewe. Much to the amusement of PTM and RWJW, the City Boy MAA with stiff legs and sore feet awkwardly lurched around the field dodging her advances. Having hurdled the fence, the City Boy was delighted to be back on Tarmac with the hotel and end point in sight.
Having checked in (exactly 14hours after setting off) and without showering, we were able to find plenty of space to eat and drink at the hotel bar until the early hours.
MAA, RWJW and PTM would like to wish anybody attempting the LWW a safe crossing.

Leave a Reply